Well, yes. I AM actually too much. And I'm learning to be okay with that...
This weekend I sent two messages to women who I consider my Soul Sisters --- who I felt had both disappeared from my life recently.
At least, that's what it felt like.
I would send the odd text, the occasional voicemail,
and with every unanswered message, or unaccepted invitation to connect,
I would feel more and more like I had done something wrong;
or more --- that I AM something wrong.
The 'tape' would start to play over and over again:
Did I offend her?
Did I overstep somehow?
Does she feel something gross in my energy that she doesn't want to be around anymore??
(That last one feels the worst.)
And so --- because this is the work that I do AND practice ---
(deepening into more Intimacy; having heart-to-hearts with our uncertainties; shining Light into our Shadows; stepping into areas where Fear wants to keep us hidden and small)
--- I messaged them to ask; putting myself squarely in front of what felt like a terrifying emotional rifle, at point-blank, with the barrel right at my heart ---
baring myself for their honest sentencing of whether I am, just simply, "too much" and "not okay."
One of them called me immediately, assuring me that wasn't the case, and it made me cry to feel connected to her again.
And the other one?
She also messaged me back quickly --- to say that, actually? she HAD started feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume of downloads I was sharing with her.
See, we kind of fancied ourselves "Cosmic Sleuths" ---
--- each receiving a different Channel of information, squealing and "oooooh-ing" as we'd share with the other all of the shiny new things we continually uncovered.
But it had gotten a little too much.
*I* had gotten a little too much...
She felt a little exhausted by it all, and had wanted to pace herself a bit in the Sleuthing; in our connecting.
And the best part?
That was totally okay.
For her to say.
For me to hear.
For us both to feel.
And her last message to me was just PERFECTION:
"And you are totally too much,
and I am totally too much!!!!
And we are the greatest because of it!!!!"
Let's take the patriarchal Shame out of all of our old stories --- whether we've woven them, or others have put them on us.
I'm gonna be posting mine over the coming month, with the hashtag #NoShameInHerGame ---
--- wanna join me?
Heather Allison is a Goddess Coach, Divine Feminine Channel and accidental Cosmic Shaman. She was plucked out of a 'normal life' by what she calls her Cosmic Team to help women Awaken the Goddess Within and find the Love, Soul, Pleasure and Purpose they're meant for.
As a coach, teacher, photographer, writer and the founder of Goddess Army --- the women's journey of Awakening and rebirthing ourselves into our Goddess lineage --- she works with coaches, healers, light workers and all soulful women who know they're meant for Mythic Love and Life, and guides them in finding grace, power, beauty, passion and pleasure through the Feminine.