SUCH A GOOD QUESTION!
When I was asked this question by a woman recently -- and I replied, "Yes" -- the look she gave me was priceless.
She was skeptical, obviously. She felt she was going to need to hear more to see if she believed me...
I don't blame her -- this isn't what we usually experience when we're dating.
Instead, the guys we often run into in the dating field are players.
They run hot and cold.
They "don't want anything serious."
They won't commit to us.
They won't use a 'girlfriend' label.
Their eyes wander.
Even the guys who DO want girlfriends, who DO want exclusivity -- sometimes they just seem to be content just having us around.
We wonder if we're his Forever Love --- or just a nice, warm girlfriend who keeps him company, who he can have fun with, who he can be intimate with... For now.
And, sadly, sometimes that IS how he feels.
But what if I told you that men are just like us --- that they do want someone to love?
They want a special someone to share their life with.
They want someone to be near.
They are actually "ready" to love us.
AND THAT IT'S ALL SOMETHING
WE CAN HELP TO INSPIRE
I get it, we all want to believe that --- but we don't... Not when we experience just the opposite.
Well, let me illustrate it this way --- how are we used to dating?
There are usually two ways it looks:
1. He's awesome, he's amazing, he's dreamy, we want him. We daydream about the ring, about marrying him, about having babies, about happily ever after. We want him to commit. We choose him. We want him to CHOOSE US. We want him to hurry up and show up. Come ONNNNN, already!
2. He's great, and he likes us, but we push him away. Either because he's too interested, he's not exactly what our "list" looks like, we're playing hard to get, or we're angry and gun-shy after our last relationship(s). So we pull away, we put up the walls, we play games, we pull out the spiky defenses, or we simply turn our backs.
The bottom line is that neither of these things is going to inspire him to want to commit.
Would you want to??
In these, there's either urgency, or there's coldness.
There's pulling, or there's pushing.
Not very inspiring of love.
SO, WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE'S A THIRD WAY?
What if I told you there's a spot in the middle there --- between the urgency and the want and the pushing/pulling, and the turning cold and the walls and the spikes?
Where he feels GOOD (and so do you!), and he wants to spend more time in that place.
Where he comes closer.
Where he sees you differently -- values you differently -- and wants MORE of you.
Where YOU value you differently?
Here's the trick:
It's at the sweet spot, the intersection of warmth and distance.
Of openness and anchored-ness.
Of softness and strength.
IT'S WHERE THE GODDESS IN US LIVES. :)
You've ALL got Goddess in you, ladies --- can you summon her? Can you embody her?
Can you create warmth AND distance, openness and anchored-ness, softness and strength in your relationship or your dating life?
Leave some comments or talk to me and share how you're going to start embodying that balance in your love life.
Either way -- Get Your Goddess On, lovelies. :)