On wanting it all in Love


I was asked recently about “wanting it all in relationship — deep craving and deep peace”...

The question came with the comparison of the two men she had been dating.

With one, there was intense Passion, fiery heat, combustible chemistry.

And with the other, she felt relaxed, like she could be her true Self, respected, honored, secure.
But, “there’s no longing, wanting or craving.”

And there’s where I pointed her for her answer.
Because read those words again.

“There’s no longing, wanting or craving.”
Do you hear what they have in common?

That is the feeling of lack. The place of not having.

As much as we think this is what will make us happy — it’s actually an addiction to the NOT HAVING that crates the craving.

The always-just-out-of-reach, the slightly dangerous, the Trigger.
The on-edge, the out-of-balance, the uncertainty.

We’re addicted to it.
And we, somewhere along the line, started believing that that was somehow the “right” ingredient for relationships.

There is a little of that we need in order to have Passion, of course.

But, truly, that comes naturally from the dance of the Masculine and Feminine energies in their Sacred balance (whether we’re talking opposite or same-sex relationships) —

— because the Feminine IS always just slightly out of reach of the Masculine, and the Masculine IS always just slightly out of reach of the Feminine.


And when we’re hemming and hawing over the perceived Choice between “safe” and “Passionate” — it may be that we’re at the precipice between Choosing the LACK that fuels the dumpster-fire of wanting —

— and Choosing the fullness that begets Soul connection and a meeting of Whole alignment.

Maybe that sounds more tame — but it’s as futile as comparing apples to toasters. Just not things that will ever be comparable.

There can still be toe curling Passion there, too — and thank goodness — but it will come from somewhere deeper, and is the kind of fire that we keep and stoke rather than the kind that runs rampant and destroys our valuables with it.

Neither of these are right or wrong, mind you — and most of us will want a little bit of “tension” to create passion (it comes from Duality, after all) — but bear in mind that you don’t get to cobble together an order of the partner you’d like...

...you will always be asked to take the WHOLE of someone, the relationship from the highest viewpoint, not the parts.

This doesn’t mean you should “settle” for something that does not fill you, nor stick around hoping something gets better with time — it’s about Choosing what is going to fill you the MOST.

Please also know that my reference to lack is not as a judgment, rather it’s the actual mechanics of longing, want and craving.

That lack is never entirely going to go away because we are meant to experience some Duality.

However, PASSION, in my experience, is not fueled by lack — but by sovereign Desire.

Semantics perhaps, but as you may know I live in the realm of underlying Archetypes, the Quantum Mechanics of our energy patterns. :)
These ARE what drive us.

And when we know where our drives comes from, we can make deeper and more conscious choices based on our underlying Desires.

Of course, this is as I’ve received these energetics and if it doesn’t resonate, please know you can let it pass by you simply as an offering you absolutely don’t have to take…

You’ll know when you’re Home.

(And I invite you to know that, even then, it won’t be “perfect” because that simply isn’t why we are in relationship.)