It all started 3 years ago, when my Soul yelled at me
while I was high on nitrous in the dentist chair...
Well, it had "started" MANY years before then, I realize now, but I was too stuck in my Masculine energy to see the signposts, hear the whispers, and feel the loving nudges telling me how to live and Love the way I was MEANT to.
But it was this moment --- getting a verbal smack from my Higher Self --- that catalyzed me into leaving the relationship that was slowly sapping my life force, that led me to finding this work,
--- and that kick-started a lightning-speed shift into my purpose, my mission,
a sudden Awakening of intuitive abilities,
and the Love I had constantly been trying to find:
I was just laying there at the dentist, all gassed up (I'm an awful dental patient) listening to some tunes, spacing out on the speckled tiles in the ceiling, when my Soul --- very clearly and simply rang through the haze and said,
"You're almost 37. What the fuck are you doing?"
Yeah, She swore at me.
Even under the gas high, I could tell this was no joke, and she wasn't messing around anymore...
Because I'd been mucking around in a relationship for 3 years, and it wasn't going anywhere ---
--- despite my best intentions and my fervent belief in his 'potential.'
He was the second major relationship I had after I left my marriage --- a marriage which had completely shattered my sense of self, my self-esteem, my connection to my intuition, my connection to my body.
I had fun with this boyfriend, and I loved him, truly --- but it had never felt fulfilling.
I spent a lot of our 3 years together asking for (and not getting) things that I deeply needed in order to feel loved, to feel safe, to feel like we could move forward together...
And I'd also been, fairly mindlessly, toiling in job after job after job that were... "okay"... but which weren't making me happy, either.
They weren't my passion. They didn't light me up.
I was just clocking in, and then waiting for the hours to tick by until I got to clock out...