how does HE want to be shown love?

"I'd love tips on how MEN want to be shown love.
Whether that be giving him a BJ in his office, writing love notes, or getting all of his male friends together for a suprise game night.
Just things that show HIM that he is loved." - Ashley

Well, first of all --- I love that the first question I choose to answer from YOU, my Goddess Army, is asking about "BJs."

Go big, or go home, right? ;)

But this is such an amazing question --- because it's what so many of us are thinking, right? 

How do we show him he's loved so that he LOVES US?
What can we do to make him love us more? 
What can we do to inspire him to come closer? 
And what if you really, truly do just want to be nice and let him feel loved? -- this answers your question, too.

First, Let's squash a myth:

(And keep reading, even if you don't like this part
-- you'll like what's coming! ;) )

You can't do anything to make him love you.

Let me break that statement down in two ways... 

1. You can't do anything to MAKE him love you.
 

We don't have control over other people -- over what they do, who they love, how they show up for us, or how often they clean the toilet. 

I know you're probably nodding your head, and agreeing with  me --- but (speaking from experience) just because you understand that at a logical level, doesn't mean you don't instinctively WANT TO do it, and even think, subconsciously, that you can.

So, allow yourself to absorb this and feel into it as a truth: We don't have control over other people. 
None. Nada. Zero. 

And if we ever do --- gross. 
That means that we're bending them to our will, that they're not showing up for us because they actually want to, and that we're poisoning the well of our relationship (because they will feel manipulated or controlled, and they will, at least subconsciously, resist it and resent it).

2. And, you can't DO anything to make him love you. 
 

In other words, it's nothing at all about what you do, how much you do for him, how well you cook for him, how well you make the bed, or how many love notes you leave for him. 

That may feel good, yes --- it would feel good to anyone, and you can do those things if you feel inspired to (and we go over the HOW to do these things if we work together in private coaching).

But men don't fall in love or feel especially loved because of WHAT YOU DO. 
 

Here's the good part: 

Showing him we love him is soooooooo easy. 

Show him how freaking GOOD it feels to be with him. 
Show him how freaking amazing HE feels --- his body, his arms around you, him inside you.
Show him how good he makes YOU feel. 
Show him how happy you are to see him. 
Show him how turned on you get around him. 
Show him how much you love watching him use his body, strength and abilities (think sports, building stuff, etc.).
Show him how good it feels to feel safe with him. 

Love notes, cooking amazing meals, and BJs are all GREAT --- and your man would obviously feel fantastic receiving them (especially BJs, obv). 
 

But how he truly feels loved is to know he's making you feel amazing. 

xoxo

What comes up for you with this message?
What a-has are you having around this?

Comment below, and let me know how this changes the way you can approach something in your life this week!