My perspective on “victim mentality”
On "victim mentality" — and why I highly encourage you to stop using the phrase:
1. There's intrinsically — at least in the way we seem to use it as an adjective these days to describe our perspective, mindset or Being — a layer of Shame connected with its use.
Unless we're simply saying that someone was "the victim of something" (noun usage), then we're usually looking down our noses at the very thought that we'd ever stoop to identifying as one.
2. It creates that identification with it.
As I mention above, we don't want to Shame ourselves for identifying as victim, and it's not something that needs to be avoided, necessarily.
But languaging that allows
for the identification OF "a thing that happened"
without identifying ourselves WITH that which happens
goes a long way toward preventing
the deeper pain and pitfalls of the latter.
3. When it comes to the perspective or mindset — rather than "Victim Mentality," I prefer Suffering Mentality.
Suffering is a temporary state,
it's an Emotion;
and it's (unlike pain, which we can't avoid) something we can either Choose or not Choose by deciding how we relate to the pain we experience.
It's not a label like "victim." It's inherently changeable, fluid, and allows for even those who find themselves in that mindset (um, all of us, at some point or another) to, all the while, also connect with the energy of it shifting.
It implies its fleeting, impermanent nature, and our Power to shift it.
▽ △
xoxo
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