I met an Angel at a punk festival

ANGELS EXIST. Messengers are everywhere.

ANGELS EXIST... And I just heard from one of mine, 9 years after he came into my life. 

In my last post, I mentioned the guy who -- in conversation over a picnic -- reminded me to speak my truth, speak up for who I am and what I do, unashamedly. 

Well, earlier this week, I heard from someone else who served as a reminder to me --- but in a much deeper, more profound and life-changing way --- and my heart swelled; tears fell...

I consider him to be one of my Angels. 

This man walked into my life at a time when I was so far into my Dark Night of the Soul, and was digging through the rubble trying to find and resuscitate my core Self. 

I was 3+ years into a relationship that had drained the life out of me.
That had crushed my Soul and turned me into the shell of who I had once been.

I often say I felt like I was encrusted in a thick wall of ice; that's how connected I felt to life, how alive I felt, period. 

At some point, however, I had started reaching back into the ether to find a thread of my former self --- punk music. 

You read that right. :) 

I had been into pretty much everything punk EXCEPT The Clash when I was about 14 (having allowed my best friend's sister's opinion of them keep me from even looking into them). 

And then, somewhere in the depth of my darkness, Joe Strummer, lead singer of The Clash, found me, started following me around until I listened (one year after he passed away, mind you... This is how it seems to go with me and these experiences ;) ). 

And, like the Punk Rock Shaman I now know him to be, he began to dig into my Soul, set fire to the fragments that had been in deep-freeze or lost somewhere underground... 

And with him, and his primal gut-rending performances,
I started to come back to life. 

For two years in a row, I traveled to Manchester, UK, for a music festival in his name. And at the second of these festivals, I met a man ---- one of Joe's friends ---- who would change the course of my life, unbeknownst to him. 

*** 

He walked into the green room --- 

--- as one of the only 'younger' girls at this festival (which was chock-full of folks who had been there for the ACTUAL Clash-era, mid-1970s), and having some connections, I got to be in the green room where Joe's old bandmates, the Mescaleros, as well as some of the other musicians, were starting to gather --- 

--- and as he walked in, our eyes met and he grinned and, hugging some of his fellow musicians, pointed his finger at me. 
"Hey!"

If memory serves me right, we hugged. 
We'd never met before. 

And for the rest of the 6 hours he was to be at this festival, we were glued to one another's sides. 

We watched bands together, making stupid jokes and laughing constantly. 
He brought me side-stage while he played with his band, and pointed at me, making faces, mid-song. 
We were inseparable for hours. 

At one point, walking across the grassy field to get to another tent, he stopped dead in his tracks, turned to me and said, 

"I feel like I've known you all my life." 

I knew what he meant --- I felt that way, too. 

And then, after 6 hours and one light-hearted, silly little kiss, he was gone. 

And I've never seen him since. 

But I came home after that trip, that music festival, and I promptly left my relationship. 

Because this Angel had reminded me of what it felt like to feel joy again. 
What it felt like to feel LIGHT.
What it felt like to feel happiness --- something I hadn't been familiar with for years. 

And I could no longer go back to unknowing it. 

I'm ETERNALLY grateful to this man, who darted in and out of my life faster than I can fathom yet had some of the most profoundly huge impact. 

He helped to set me back on the path
that I was desperately seeking to re-find. 

And for that, I KNOW he was one of my Angels. 

***

Today, because he dropped into my inbox to say hi again after so many years, I'm reminded: our Angels exist.

Watch for these people --- they come in and out of your life when you are in the deepest moment of need. 

And if you allow them to remind you of who you are, how LOVED you are, and the joy you're meant to be experiencing ---- you'll never likely forget it again.