My story: how EVERYTHING changed for me

It's uncomfortable to share
my story...

I hinted at it a bit on my site, but I didn't get into the 'nitty gritty' of it -- and I know I need to share it with you. 

Because it's hearing this story that's going to help you understand how I haven't always been here, in this Love-filled, Goddessy place. 

And how powerful -- honestly, even Magical -- this work is. 

Pull up a cozy cup of tea or glass of wine and get comfy with me, Goddess --- the best stories always take a little while to tell... :)

>>> <<<

Even back in my childhood, I remember being the "almost" girl when it came to love and life. 

The boys I liked when I was young always seemed to like "the other girl." 
I was a good soccer player, but not "great"; I was a Half-Back, not the Forward. 
I was friends with everyone, but never felt part of a tight-knit or consistent group of friends. 

I was lied to, used, and tossed aside by the guy who just wanted my virginity. 
My first real boyfriend, when I finally trusted boys enough to try again, dumped me right after high school --- when my parents were traveling, and all of my friends had moved away to school, leaving me feeling exceptionally alone.
I had clearly said "no" to the cute boy I met at my best-friend's college, yet was forced into having sex anyway. 

I loved art and beauty, but settled for work in marketing, branding and project management.
I dabbled in my art, and in photography, but never felt good enough to do anything "real" with it. 
I always felt 'just enough' in my work, in my income, in my achievements; and I never really felt clear about what I wanted to be "when I grew up."
 

I fell in love with a boy when I was 19, and was with him for 12 years --- marrying him when I was 27, feeling terrified about how we would live (neither of us made much money), how we would support ourselves, but not knowing any other way, and not hearing or believing my own intuition. 
I loved him, and I thought it had to work out. 

I learned a year later, just after our first anniversary, that he had had several affairs --- the most painful one with a nineteen-year-old and spanning a year and a half, before and after our wedding...
Once, during that span of time, he had even tried to convince me to be friends with her, presumably so he could have her come around more often without my scrutiny. 

Before he came clean, I remember hearing the voice of my intuition, lovingly calling to me, asking me to look closer, to stand up for myself and question the things I'd been seeing that didn't make sense, to speak up for the things that didn't feel good. 

But I didn't want to hear. It was too painful. 
And when I would ask him, mid-embrace, to allay my fears of betrayal, or to make sense of the confusing behaviors, he would squeeze me tighter, kiss me, look me in the eye and swear, he would "never..."

So I would push my fears down because I felt sure he loved me in that moment, and I gradually lost the ability entirely to hear my own inner-wisdom.

I stayed 3 more years after I found out about the affairs.

My parents, still happily together since they were 15 years old, were all I knew --- I thought you were simply supposed to work it out; to fix it; to stay together. 

But it was only me who was trying to fix it; it was only me doing the work. 
I went to counseling, I dug deep, I broke, I bled, I tried to get up, to try again, I fell harder, I cried for help --- and I slowly faded away.

The only way I can describe it is that I became more and more buried inside a thick wall of ice with every passing day. Lifeless.

If you're familiar with the term, this was my
"Dark Night of the Soul."

I utterly lost myself. 
I lost my voice. 
I lost my intuition. 
I lost my way. 
I lost my connection to my sexuality, my passion, my body.
I felt, somehow, the loss of my childhood joy.
I lost my sense of worth.
I completely lost my light.
I lost Love.

Eventually, my Soul --- my intuition, my higher self, my inner-wise-woman (whatever you'd like to call her) --- had had enough. 

And She got LOUD. 

I had dreams. I had messages from strangers. I had strange synchronicities. I channeled information. 
I heard my Higher Self --- and I finally paid attention. 

When I finally left him, I was 31. 

I remember my mom saying to me, "There you are...."

She could finally recognize me again --- I had started coming back to life; my ice cage had started melting. 

In this process, I had found my way back to my intuition, my connection with the Universe, my belief in myself, my belief in Love --- and my wholehearted knowing that I was destined to have it in this lifetime. 

I emerged a new person --- even changed my name --- and I opened up wider to receive the Love I knew was waiting for me.

And I did find love -- several times -- over the next 6 years.

In this time, it was my relationships ---- along with my own exploration into Soul, philosophy, my Soul Branding process, and work with my teachers and mentors --- that were my most powerful training-grounds, delivered my most in-powering lessons. 

It was a peeling away of layers and a re-finding of the self I had lost.

In the first of those relationships, I came back to life.
I learned total trust. 
I learned beauty.
I learned sexual healing. 
I learned embodied Love -- I could actually feel the sensation of falling in love, of an expanding heart.
I learned karmic path, and the purpose (and gift) of releasing someone you love to their own path --- and, simultaneously, releasing me to mine. 

In the next relationship, I found my way back to my Self.
I found ease.
I found my childhood joy. 
I found my voice. 
I found my Soul Voice. 
I found my gifts.
I found my power in walking away to choose the unknown, the fulfilling and juicy Love that I still believed was out there, waiting to find me. 

It was also in these relationships that I learned what I didn't want:

I didn't want to subject myself to an unpredictable temper; I didn't want to be the only one striving to create a beautiful life or to achieve dreams; I didn't want to fight; I didn't want to be complacent; I didn't want to feel alone in pursuing my dreams; I didn't want to feel like something was missing, or something just wasn't quite right. 

In spite of their flaws, each of these relationships -- and each one of these men -- was a gorgeous gift. 

And I loved these men DEEPLY. 

My heart shattered every time these relationships ended, and yet I found myself opening wider, ready to love bigger, ready to feel deeper, each time my heart broke.

And then --- around the time I found this work I now teach --- I met another guy who seemed like everything I wanted. 

He seemed aligned with, or at least curious about, everything I loved; he listened; he was enthusiastic; he had dreams and goals; he seemed passionate about who I was and what I believed; he wanted a family, he wanted to build a life, a home, and I could see myself slotting perfectly into the picture. --- and the chemistry was potent. 

I thought there was a real future there. 

And I practiced the things I had been learning --- the tools I now teach to magnetize men and Love, to show up powerfully, Goddessy, and invite in joy and all of my dreams. 

And it worked. 

He could feel the Goddessness I was embodying --- the shift was palpable. 

But, also because of this work, I felt something deeper: 

I felt an unease; a sense that I wasn't being honored or held in a way that I should be; a feeling in my body that this isn't how I wanted to feel. 

And --- also because of that work --- I was able to speak my truth to him, to honor my boundaries, in a way that was still wide open, that honored and enforced my Goddessness, AND allowed him to hear me while still feeling magnetically drawn to me. 

And --- no joke --- the very moment I stepped into this feminine-energy power, spoke my truth in this new way, showed up authentically as me, and upheld my boundaries from the INSIDE, being wide open as I chose more powerfully for myself, instead of shutting down and putting up walls --- my real man showed up.

The man who shows up, time and time again, to meet me where I need him; who honors, holds and supports my feminine; who feels like safety and fun and passion and trust when his arms are wrapped around me.
The man I'm building a life and love with. 

My practice and exploration of this work has only gotten deeper, stronger, more passionate --- and the love, joy, ease and abundance in my life has only come in more and more, well, abundantly.

I have never before experienced such magic in my life, and it's only getting better and better the more I do this work. 

When I dove into the deep end of this philosophy and this practice, into learning the ins-and-outs of this coaching modality more deeply --- it changed EVERYTHING. 

I signed up and paid for a coach training program without thinking about why I was doing it, just knowing that it was calling me; with no ideas about what I would do WITH it, no designs on doing it for a living; and with no thought to how much money I was spending on it (more than I had ever spent on anything at one time).

I found greater ease, joy and abundance in my life than I've ever had -- and a deeper connection to my Soul, my inner-voice, my intuition, my own MAGIC.
I have a clarity and purpose in my work and my path; I am stepping into my greatness, my mission here in this lifetime -- and I feel wholly supported by the Universe in doing so.
I feel an expansion and lightness that I had only ever dreamed of before finding this work --- and it's only getting BETTER. 

I'm no longer an 'almost' girl. 
I'm a 'ALL OF IT' girl.

And I want that for YOU. 
In all parts of your life, your love and your relationships; your path.
 

I wish I had better words to express to you how much this work has allowed me to find myself --- these tools, practices and shifts are life-changing, and they continue to improve my life in ways I can't even begin to explain. 

And not only for me --- I'll be sharing stories over the next few weeks about how incredibly life-changing it has been for my clients, as well. 

Because this is what I do now: 

I help you find yourself. 
I help you find your voice. 
I help you find your intuition. 
I help you find your way. 
I help you find your connection to your passion and your body.
I help you find your joy.
I help you find your sense of worth.
I help you find your light.
I help you find your Love.
I help you find your GODDESSNESS.

I would love nothing more than to give this gift to you, too ---- concentrated and simplified, so that you don't have to wait as long as i did ---

>>> so if you're ready, click here and let's Awaken the Goddess within you .<<<