Getting my own goddess on

Being behind the lens most of the time, instead of in front of it, has gotten comfortable.
Probably too comfortable.
I get a little squeamish being on the other side; nervous, unsure of myself, self-conscious; especially as I've gotten older.

It's definitely easier being back here.

So I know how you feel when it comes to thinking about a photo shoot...

And I know you --- like me --- see these amazingly beautiful photos of other women, and this internal conversation starts happening...

"I wish I had beautiful photos of myself like those..."

And then the Icky Voice chimes in, "But I don't look like that / I'm too old / I'm not as thin as I used to be / yadda yadda --- what business do I have doing a photo shoot...?"

"I wish someone who sees women the way she does would
'see me' that way.
That must feel so amazing."

"Maybe after I lose 10 more pounds...." or "That's so vain," Icky says.

Round and round we can go.

And meanwhile, time passes on, and every year that passes we wish we "would have done it back then" --- and it's another year we miss the opportunity to show ourselves, our bodies, our Goddessness the love and pride they deserve.

And the truth is --- we DO deserve beautiful photos of ourselves.

And to be seen.

And to be cherished for who we are on the outside, while letting our beautiful, sensual, powerful insides shine through.

I believe that it is an INCREDIBLY POWERFUL act of Self-Love,
feminine in-powerment, and Goddess-building to have delicious photos of yourself.

There is nothing vain about it.
Where is the vanity in telling ourselves we're beautiful?
In doing something amazing to quiet those awful voices that we all have that tell us the exact opposite?

It's also a gift -- giving our future selves, our loved ones, our children, our great-great-great-great grandchildren the gift of memory, and something beautiful to hold onto for years to come.

And it's the gift of permission for our fellow Goddesses, who are having the same inner argument with themselves, to show them that they, too, can (and should) give themselves the gift of beautiful photos.

With all of this, I realized, how can I, in good conscience, not give myself the same gift of feeling beautiful that I always encourage my clients to give themselves?

And I realized that that's exactly why it was important for me to jump in and just do it.

So I hired a fellow (and incredible) photographer to do a shoot.

I'll admit to you --- I didn't feel ready.
When I reached out to her, I thought we'd schedule something for sometime in the coming handful of months.
That I'd have time to tone up, slim down, get more comfortable with the idea.
But she responded telling me that she'd be in town in about 10 days, and then leaving again about 4 days later.
There was no time for hemming and hawing.
If I wanted this, it was go time.
Crap.

So I took a deep breath, picked a date to shoot with the photographer, and then put the cork in the wine bottle and cleansed for about 10 days.
And I bought some amazing new makeup (have you ever tried the 3D Mascara, shadows, and concealers from Younique?? So good!).
And I went for it.

I know very well how you ladies feel when I'm shooting you, how nervous you feel when you pull the trigger to book, how vulnerable you feel when you take the chance and show me who you are --- especially when you feel like you have no business being in front of the camera, and especially when you peel off the layers of clothing and inhibitions.

But I know how much more incredible it feels to feel to have gorgeous, self-loving images of yourself; to have photos you feel proud of; to show your body, through your actions, that you love it.

To feel seen, to feel beautiful.

To quiet those ugly voices and let our Goddess shine.