Feeling disposable

Hi Goddesses...

I'm coming in here share, to shed, to rend myself open a bit and allow you to hear something for yourself as I work through a super, super OLD story of mine... 

I've been feeling SUUUUUUPER triggered around missing out on an event that's happening with a group of women I'm a part of.

The event is happening the same weekend I'm shooting a wedding, and there simply isn't a way for me to make it work --- or for them to make a change.  

And I have this really, really old story --- probably from about 7 years old --- of being the "disposable one" in any given group. 

The one who's easiest to cut. The one who's easiest to leave out. 

First.... I've tried a number of ways into this event.... And it seems no matter what I try, the door closes.

The Universe doesn't want me to be there, for some reason. 

And I'm CHOOSING to look at this in a new light: 
I'm missing out on bonding with these women --- and the other business benefits that come with the event ----- so the Universe MUST have something else in mind for me on all of those fronts... 

Different ways I'm meant to bond with this group...  
Different ways for me to grow and work on my business... 
Different opportunities...

So I'm choosing to OPEN to what the Universe wants to bring me instead. 

Second --- and this is the BIG ONE --- this is where, when we're willing to listen, to truly open to the wisdom of the Universe, of life, of our Souls, we WILL get our answers... 
And they are often so, so beautiful, meaningful, and powerful. 

I was just typing up a part of my upcoming Group Program, look what just bubbled up in my writing?? (And, no, I hadn't planned this out.)

"The Feminine has been repeatedly and systematically torn apart, shut down, cut off, vilified and devalued over the years, as the Masculine and all of its traits, energies and archetypes were prioritized.
Not only prioritized --- it's been claimed as the ONLY virtue, the only traits truly worth having.

Right?
We've been told that feelings, emotions aren't suitable for the workplace -- keep them at home. 
We've been told that feelings make people uncomfortable. 
We're told that intuition is a bunch of hooey; it's just hippie bullshit and weird. 
We're taught that giving is more important than receiving. 

At every single turn, we're told that the Feminine energy is the one that's discardable; disposable..."

>>> Oh HI, "disposable" story....! <<< 

I see it now --- I'm meant to hold Her space, to stand and walk as Her right now...
That Her path in the macro is meant to be my path in the micro right now --- and that I'm meant to find my power in that feeling of being on my own. 

That fear of being on my own. 

That I'm meant to rise through it, so that I can help others rise through it, and HER rise through all of us.

Aaaaaand crying. 
And shedding....

Where are you feeling triggered or beat up right now, beauty?
Can you get still and listen --- let the Universe know you're ready to hear what you're meant to know in this? 
Can you open to the beauty that the Universe has in store for you, that might be different from this wall you've been banging your head on? 

xoxo